Idiot

Forever alone but never lonely. When I dream of the future, I imagine travel and sunshine and more independence. I can’t imagine what work I’ll be doing and where I’ll be. 

But what if I’m bed-ridden and depressed, reliant on my family to keep me alive.. 

I am not a typical young woman. I don’t want children, or marriage. I don’t have the default setting that everyone else seems to have. My aspirations focus on learning and travelling not breeding and weddings and parties. I never want those things. 

The future always seems amazing and full of hope. Why can’t I be more realistic, live in the present and make a connection with someone. I feel like an idiot. 

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