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Roar

There is so much negativity around me that its seeping into my head. I’ve been irritable all day. I’m tense and that voice won’t leave me alone. My family don’t help, no one does. Again I’m craving a house down the country, with a big garden and near the sea. It’s like that will make me relax and content, but it’s just a dream. 

I’ve to take a break from the news, Twitter and reddit until this passes. I feel like I’m going to snap; I dot like the feeling of everything boiling up inside me. 

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Idiot

Forever alone but never lonely. When I dream of the future, I imagine travel and sunshine and more independence. I can’t imagine what work I’ll be doing and where I’ll be. 

But what if I’m bed-ridden and depressed, reliant on my family to keep me alive.. 

I am not a typical young woman. I don’t want children, or marriage. I don’t have the default setting that everyone else seems to have. My aspirations focus on learning and travelling not breeding and weddings and parties. I never want those things. 

The future always seems amazing and full of hope. Why can’t I be more realistic, live in the present and make a connection with someone. I feel like an idiot. 

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May 22nd

Same sex marriage referendum in Ireland.

Irish people are a lot more tolerant and welcoming than they used to be. Religion has less control over the population but there are still older citizens that are closed-minded. All polls are showing that the referendum will pass. I’m still not hopeful.

Young people don’t like to vote and they are the most tolerant. If I had to give you a reason why, quite simply, I would say it’s because they’re lazy. That may sound unfair but it’s true. I expect LGBT citizens to vote and their supportive relatives to support them and vote too.
If the younger people would vote, I believe this would pass easily.

This leaves me on to another issue. The majority of the media have been supportive and expect this to pass. Not bad huh? (Nice that the Catholic Church don’t control mainstream and left media). Then a Senator, Ronan Mullen, states that the media are pushing an agenda… Right.. Is that the agenda for equality? Passing this referendum will only bring happiness to LGBT citizens and future citizens; if people are against same-sex marriage, that is their issue, it’s not hurting them (even if they say it is).

Here is the link to the article: http://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/senator-claims-broadcasters-pushing-gay-marriage-agenda-1.2135363

He’s correct about one thing; it may not pass. But it is bigoted to say there is some kind of ‘gay’ agenda being pushed. This is about equal rights for Irish citizens; if I married my future wife/girlfriend, why would this hurt a straight person? Hint: it doesn’t. He comes across as a homophobe and a bigot and I am disgusted he is a member of the government, albeit in An Seanad.

He says he wants a more balanced debate. What does that entail? Inviting more religious bigots on to tv and radio shows, claiming that same sex marriage will destroy children and the good old catholic definition of a family? Don’t make me sick! This is plain and simple a human rights issue. If this is defeated, I will be so ashamed to be Irish. If you don’t vote, you’re killing hope from LGBT citizens and you should be ashamed. This could be your friends, children, future children that you are denying future happiness (or pain depending on how you view marriage!). Don’t kill someone else’s hope.

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It’s all crazy

I feel like writing but at the same time I don’t have the energy. Work is crazy busy. Sometimes I feel like packing up and going home to see how my manager would handle me gone. I can’t help how stressed I get at work. One email can be a trigger. Then the anxiety bursts in and I’m trying to calm myself down for the rest of the day!

Annoying. 

I sit next to a chatterbox. I need peace to be productive. I dream of the future where I’ve my own house in the countryside and I can work in a bright, quiet room. Then I can’t imagine that even being me! 

I spend quite some time thinking of ways this country, this world could be improved. It’s seems a bit useless as I’m not a politician, nor do I want to be one! I just find it so enjoyable thinking about process improvement! Ha! What an odd thing to love. 

Now I’ll sleep and prepare for another stressful day. Depression has been muted lately, it’s the anxiety that’s poking about my insides. Sleep is best.