Last day of work tomorrow for the year. I’m looking forward to getting through it then driving straight to my sister’s in Belfast.

I hoping I am happy for the next few days. I get anxious if I’m away from home for long… Especially as I feel under pressure at Christmas. It’s like forbidden to have an off day, everyone has to be in great spirits and act like happy families when you don’t usually spend so much time together any other day of the year.

Also… My ex sent me a letter today. It reads like a self help book! I don’t need that shit!! If she knew me at all, she’d know I’m not into that rubbish. Depression is much more complex and varies between people. Saying – take joy in your life – does not make me take joy and forget my demons.

I’ve never told her what demons I have or what I think. I know she’ll judge me or spout some other nonsense about living life to the maximum. It sounds like a fucking chick flick. Most days I’m fine; but I never need your self help bullshit. Never.


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