Everything is bothering me

I feel like there’s too much negativity around me. I go on twitter and it’s just retweets of people complaining or angry at the government; I get that. I feel like it’s affecting me though. I feel like people want me to be as angry as them but I just want to be happy.
I enjoy keeping up with current affairs but again the news is morbid. You get used to hearing numbers of people dead everyday but I think about them much more than others; how they died, how it could have been stopped and when it will happen again.
My job is, in broad terms, to improve processes in a contract research organisation. When I see how the government is run, it pains me as i know it can be much more effective. How do people work in the public sector!! There’s so much waste.
Christmas is fast approaching and I’m already getting anxiety about going to my sister’s for a few days. The other sister is pissed cos I’m not going to hers; so childish. I always feel more down during this time of the year. Even today, I spent half the day restless and the other flat out on my bed, moping. I can deal with all these emotions.
Again I just feel alone. I haven’t felt this way in years. I need to talk to one of my friends but they don’t want to hear my shit. Then I wonder why they’re my friend in the first place and why do I listen to their menial problems… I need an emotional release. I need someone to comfort me. Needing things is not good, it’s better to want so I don’t feel so desperate.
6.5 days of work until holidays. I’m dreading work and I don’t usually; I feel under pressure and that I’ve tons to do. I feel stressed. This stress has led me to feel stressed in every other aspect of my life. I need this Christmas break to sort out my head.


One thought on “Everything is bothering me

  1. Such a relevant post. What you said about Twitter is especially true. It’s no longer a fun site to be on. I hope you get the break you want and deserve over the holidays

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