0

Freedom:

Not having to justify yourself to anyone.
Making a decision without someone trying to stop you.
Fresh air.

Advertisements
0

Idols

Do adults still have idols? I definitely had some when I was younger… But as a 27 year old, I can’t think of one person I want to be, or be like. My life is not even that exciting but I still wouldn’t choose to be anyone else.

I am wary of idols cos they’re human. You big them up in your head and they fuck up and it ruins your idea of them. Hence never getting a tattoo linked to someone else. Are there even idols for adults like me? I admire qualities in people but I couldn’t blindly worship them. Ellen Page may be am exception, but I don’t want to be her, do her job, live her life, she’s just a strong-willed feminist who I’d probably get on well with if she’d bother her ass to come visit!!

I remember when I stopped wanting to be other people and decided I wanted to be me! I didn’t want to copy anyone else, I wanted people to want to be meee!! It’s an odd thought. There’s always someone in this world that would kill to live your boring, mundane life! Hilariously that was what I’ve been told on a few occasions my friends have been drunk. It makes me view myself in a different light. I’m lucky even when life is shit!

5

Me first

Sometimes I wonder why I’m even in a relationship! I am a bad girlfriend. I’m a bad friend! I always put myself and my happiness first and I don’t feel bad about it. How I’m even in a relationship, I don’t know!! I love having alone time, I love being able to abandon my phone all weekend and ignore the world. But apparently I can’t do that with a gf! Oh well. My heart is cold and my brain doesn’t care. I always seem to do what I want.

0

Ha!

It’s so much easier writing when something is wrong than when everything is going smoothly.

I’m leaving Brussels after a weekend here. It’s quite boring actually but I didn’t want it to be cos that’s what everyone says about it. It is pretty and the food is ok. But I feel like it’s lacking ‘something’.

I halved the dosage of my medication and it has turned me into an evil bitch! Ha!! It’s like I’ve returned to two years ago! Anyway, I’m sticking with this dosage and hoping that my mood improves when I’m less addicted. Everything is more manageable with a routine but the past week has been hectic and I just want to relax in my house and go for walks and feel fresh air in my lungs.

In other news, love Ed Sheeran’s new album. Some songs are so powerful. Going home now. I’ll watch some Ellen Page movie on the plane, winner!