I love lying in the dark. I can hear better. I can think clearly and breathe easy. I feel safe and contained in these four walls.
I like to imagine another life for myself – just for fun really. If I had a different name, would I be a different person? I imagine who I’m with, where I work, the house I live in and the country I’ve chosen too. Imagination is the only place free from judgement. It doesn’t have to be logical. I can have what I want!! It’s my own place that no one else can ruin.
If I wasn’t depressed, where would I be now? Who would I be with and where would I work? It’s amazing how one life event, no matter how small, can affect you for so long and influence your choices and the people you meet. In my head, I get to imagine this. I am the ruler of my fate! It’s nice to have full control of something.
It’s quite a change from daytime. I drift off into imagination but I’m not in control. Someone else takes over and I’m merely a pawn. I shake my head to return to reality and can’t quite believe how powerful the mind can be.