Just another day

I always get anxious over Christmas even though it’s just another day. I believe this is due to having to spend a large amount of time around people in close quarters. I already feel uncomfortable. I don’t like this feeling at all, but I brought Xanax with me just in case. Why did this only happen to me over the past two years? I feel as if I’ll just get worse until I can’t be around most people. I don’t get the warm, homey feeling. I only get that when I’m alone in my room or out in nature. When I eventually buy my little country in the country, perhaps I’ll be in peace! 

If I could wish for anything right now, it would be for more patience! I’m restless, uneasy and want things done my way. There is another description for that; difficult! I must wreck everyone’s head! I feel like Bette from the L Word sometimes; so uptight, seeks perfection, always right!! I am flawed but I am human.


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